This article is about starting over, or how to start over. If you’re reading this I’ll take it that you are either looking for ways to make a fresh start in some part of your life, or that you know someone that could use a fresh start. Either way, I have put together things that I’ve found to be useful whenever I was at that point. I thought you may find it to be useful too. Sometimes being able to “let go” and start over is an ingredient to happy living. I will be covering two different areas on the subject of starting over: a) Starting over after disappointment; b) “Starting over” after losing a loved one. I will let you decide what works best for you in any case, but a few pointers might come in handy some day. Okay, let’s get on with it!
Staring Over After Disappointment
What do you do when things don’t go the way you had hoped they would? It’s frustrating and disappointing I know, but this does not have to be a reason to give up. Your goals and dreams are still very much alive. Little miscalculations can lead you into what seems to be a dead-end. You only fail to succeed if you remain at that dead-end. So, the best thing to do is to trace backwards from that dead-end back to your original goal. The point of doing this is to uncover the miscalculations that led you into the dead-end to begin with, and from that you can learn what to do, and what not to do.
It’s true that we cannot control all things in life. Therefore, most setbacks can be caused by things that we cannot control. However, we do have a choice over the things that we depend on. Depending on something that we cannot control, for example: luck, chance, fate, etc., is the easiest way to set ourselves up for disappointment. It’s best to ask yourself, “What can I do?” You can find the things that are within your power to control, with regards to your goals. If you can find one thing that you can do, one thing that you can control and move forward with, that’s a good point to start over. Keep in mind the things you found as you were backtracking and focus on things that you can control. You’ll be most likely to succeed if you work at these simple points intelligently, keeping your overarching goal(s) in mind.
Where can you apply this? You can pretty much apply this to a pursuit you can think of: life, goals, relationships, etc. It gives you the opportunity to clear and refresh your mind by tracing back to the point you began passionately (your goal). Though you may change the way you go about it next time, your goal(s) remain constant, and must be a constant passion to afford you the strength to overcome the hurdles in the way. Your goal is the best place to start over and refocus! You chose your goals, therefore you can have control over them. If you want to read up more on tools that can help you with your goals, I recommend the book Secrets Of The Art Of Persistence.
As far as starting over relationship wise, being able to let go is a major part of the process. It helps to evaluate the pros and cons in order to determine whether or not it’s necessary to start over, or just do a little patch up. Does that relationship have the value you think it has, or are you giving it more value than it deserves. Is it adding value to your life, or is it aiding in your destruction? It really does not matter what other people think about it, you are the one living it, so only your judgment ultimately matters. To read up more about creating a good relationship, I recommend the book Rage For The Justice Of Love. I promise it’s not as bad as the title sounds.
Starting Over From Loss
Honestly, there is no way to “start over” from the loss of a loved one, there is only moving forward. We can only start over in the things we can recreate. Love can be recreated, but we cannot recreate the ones we love if their time came before ours. Though time may have become a barrier that prevents us from filling their hearts with our love, the love that was created becomes encapsulated in an infinite time capsule that we can always look back into and cherish. This infinite capsule is something loss cannot undo, so we move forward remembering not the loss, but what made them unforgettable. That’s what matters when all is said and done. It might help to remember that and cherish it. Such a love defies the laws of time from the moment it is forged. It exists in the present and the future welcomes it infinitely. So you can move forward without necessarily having to let go because the love can float at that point in time. Live on and love strong to create infinite moments that surpass the limits of time. This is the only condition in life I know of that its okay not to try and start over. Moving forward is more practical in this case than trying to start over, and you don’t have to give up your love to be able to move forward.