How To Build Self-Respect

This article is about how to get respect and how to build self-respect, or “personal power” as I like to call it. Trust is power; gain it – the world will have your back, lose it – the world will turn its back on you! I have found this to be very true in any kind of relationship; familial, friendship, romantic, business, and even politics – especially politics! No man can go against the world and expect to win. No matter how ambitious one may be, the odds are just too overwhelming. “Power” by virtue of force or greed is only a finite illusion, because real power is a platform that is built on the willful support from others. Trust is what builds the pillars of that platform. Therefore, before one can gain any sort of respect, which essentially is power, one must first be worthy of trust. What is trust? It is knowing that you can count on someone to have your back, and knowing that they have the best of intentions for you. As you can figure, it goes both ways.

In a love relationship, we have seen that sudden disrespect is brought on by the fact of one person cheating on another. The platform of power disappears quicker than lightning and taking its place will be the pitchforks of hell, sharpened by blame and disgust! How can the glory and prestige vanish so quickly? Well, the one who had it forgot that they were standing on a platform that was built on trust. Once trust is gone, there is nothing left to stand on. I don’t mean to be so cut and dry, it’s just that life is that way – so sugar coating the truth benefits no one.

Parents that have trouble getting respect from their kids have lost that respect in the same fashion. I am not a shrink, but something tells me that child’s manifestation of disrespect is a way of telling you that you were not there when they needed you. Or, it could be “you said you would, but you didn’t.” Whatever action or lack of action left that child feeling they could not depend on you cost you your power. I think as adults we sometimes forget that children react to this natural law about trust the same way adults do. So, it pays to be mindful of how our actions may be interpreted even in the eyes of a child. In the event that mistakes have already cost you respect, owning up to those mistakes is one way saying to that child, “I respect you as a person and you don’t deserve to be treated like that.” It tells that child they can depend on you because you respect them enough to try and make things right. How long it takes to get back to that point I cannot say, but if you just focus on building the trust back up, it will happen sooner or later.

Now, does this trust factor have the same effect on self-respect? Oh yes it does! If you get in the habit of doing what you set out to do, and stay true to yourself – the chances are you will feel you can trust yourself. That makes you feel good about yourself because it tells you that you can be your own leader. Each time you put your heart into the things you set out to do, you build and reinforce that platform of personal power and become confident in yourself. If you can align that with the rest of your external relationships, you not only know that you can depend on yourself, but others will know they can depend on you too. They will value you and value your input as long as you reciprocate in kind. Respect (power) is the platform that gives a person the privilege of leadership or “authority” in the eyes of others. No person likes to hand that platform willingly to someone that is going to do them harm, at least I don’t. That is why, in my opinion, trust and power are one and the same thing, because one cannot exist without the other. Knowing that you can count on yourself is the foundation of self-respect and personal power. I hope that you have found this information useful.
Tapiwa Chitembure

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I was very passionate about philosophical thinking since I was a young man. It occurred to me over the years that my perspective on things in life determined how I lived and the things I was able to accomplish in my life. I realized the value of having a positive mindset with the success of overcoming some of the most challenging times in my life. With that personal victory came the realization that I could help others overcome similar challenges from tools I had mastered, so I started writing. I hope my work can make a difference and I hope that you will be inspired to believe in the real magnitude of your potentials and use them to create the quality of life you want.
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